NEW LIFE FOR SALE!!
This auction is for a New Life in the coastal town of Wollongong, Australia of a 24 year old male.
It includes the following:
Winning bidder will take ownership of my:
– Phone number
– All my possessions which includes the following
– Roughly 300 CDs
– Laptop (minus certain information with my discretion),
– Pushbike (Has wonky handlebars, may need some work)
– CD player
– Tennis racquets
– Golf Clubs(which you will have no idea how to use)
– Childhood photos
– Nice lamp which your ex-girlfriend bought you.
– I will teach you my skills which include the following
– Surfing (Expert)
– Climbing (Intermediate)
– Skateboarding (Novice)
– Handstand Skills (Expert)
– Fire Twirling Skills (Intermediate)
– Devil Stick Twirling (Expert)
(Plus many more)
– Will introduce to all my friends & potential lovers (around 8 which I have been flirting with)
– I have around 15 close friends and around 170 other friends
– I have 2 nemeses.
– Lifestyle is very social. It includes a lot of going out.
NB: Friends will treat you exactly as they have treated me. This includes friends who take me surfing, running, climbing and cook for me. All of these features will be transferred over to the winning applicant.
Life also includes the following features
– Will have access to a cruisy job in march delivering fruit.
– You will write a satirical horiscope in the University of Wollongong Magazine.
– You will have new parents to have Christmas with & birthday presents from friends.
– A birthday party will also be organised for you.